I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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