I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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