dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
