you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
