why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize