Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
