maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
