Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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