And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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