i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize