We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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