I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
