just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize