I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You are the jesus of drinking
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
