hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
