You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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