mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
