idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
