Plan B is the new Plan A
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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