hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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