u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize