Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
