Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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