sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize