i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
