You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
