Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
