I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize