it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
