I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
