so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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