What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
