do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
