I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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