I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize