I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
