So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
