she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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