Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
