I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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