I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
