dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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