I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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