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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
