I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
