Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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