shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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