we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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