After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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