The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
4 words: hood of his car
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
