oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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