just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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