his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
