Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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