return my video game
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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