i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
