Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
