the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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