you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
