I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
