I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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