I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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