Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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