You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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