you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
