based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Two words: nipple clamps
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