Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize