My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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