Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
