In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
