When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize