I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
