Define "chronic" masturbator.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's the barista slut.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
