if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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