i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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