Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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